The reason why most people try to convince themselves that optimism and positivity are a delusion and “just not for them” is because they are afraid. What happens if you just do what you want to, what if you take the risk? Well, it could go wrong! At that moment, our ego tries to come in and tells us “I told you you can’t do it!”, “It’s not for you, just go back to what worked in the past and what you’re used to,” you, you’re stupid and not good enough “. and I understand, I really understand it. The problem here is that our ego is quite bizarre. On the one hand it wants to protect us, on the other hand it holds us back in a very negative way.
Our ego is formed by other people’s reactions to our behavior, the person we are, and the things we do, either well or poorly. these voices decided to settle in the brain! I’m pretty sure you went through that too. You wanted to do something, but you did not, because your inner critic, the ego, told you not to.
Here are 4 tips for you on how to restrain your Inner Critical Voice:
1.) Listen and answer:
If your Ego gets too loud again, just listen to it. After it’s done, answer it. You can say things like, “I know you just want to protect me, but I have to try this now. I can do it! Trust me!” You can say it loud, but also in your thoughts. I know, it seems strange at first, but it’s a good way to counter the Ego.
2.) Recognize the pain, understand it and let it go
Most of the thoughts of our ego come from devastating words that were said to us in our childhood or youth, and then they engraved themselves into our memory. What we often forget, however, is that our fellow human beings often react negatively to us or to our actions because they have experienced similar treatment when they were younger. Maybe they didn’t receive enough love as a child? Maybe they were always made fun of? It’s important to understand WHY your fellow human beings act as they act and that it has nothing to do with you. It’s like a vicious circle. However, you can break that vicious circle if you become aware of it. You’ll see how free you feel once you understand that these words are nothing more than a reflection of their personality.
3.) No more “but what if …”s
Now that you understand where the Ego is coming from, it’s time to take things into your own hands. Think about something you’ve been wanting to do for a long time, but have always found an excuse not to do it in the end. This time, pull it out and if your Ego gets too loud again, follow the steps above and then say “goodbye!” to it.
4.) Form your Own Values
Now that you’re slowly moving away from the words and the projection of others people’s emotions, it’s time for you to determine your own values. Values, as far as the person you are and the values of life are concerned. Meet yourself and your fellow human beings with love and compassion; no hatred and no pity, only compassion.
I hope that I could help you with my advice, and that the tips will work for you as well.
Have a nice day